Ellen: ‘Rather move gradually than abruptly’.

Ellen: ‘Rather move gradually than abruptly’.

Both daughters of Ellen van den Bos have a big age difference. One (6) is in group 2 of primary school, while the other (13) tries to find her way in secondary education. That is hard. She experienced a lot of stress and pressure, partly due to the corona period.

‘I notice that secondary school students mainly have to do what they are told,’ says Ellen. She points out that the work attitude of young children is different from that of teenagers. ‘My 6-year-old still wants to learn many things by herself. She wants to do sums and learn to read better. With a teenager it is a world of difference. They are lazy and naturally do not want to do anything. You have to teach these students an active basic attitude.’

System oriented

The switch to a secondary school in Hengelo was very sudden for her teenager. ‘My experience is that primary education is very child oriented and secondary education is system oriented. Within that system, teachers try to run programs and they do not really care how the child is doing.’ Ellen says it was different in primary school. ‘There the teachers had a better view of the child. They encouraged children to think about learning goals themselves. If something is wrong with the child, they notice it much earlier.’ There was a lot of pressure on her child. ‘Primary school wanted her to start at the highest level possible. But that still has to be met.’ There was no final test to clarify the advice better. ‘She did not take the national test because of corona. You noticed that the school advice was very important to parents. And rightly so, because there was no test.’

Lockdown

The corona measures made it hard to get used to the new school. ‘At first, things were very strange for us as parents. We were not allowed in the building and everything went digital by screen. She had a physical introduction day, but soon after a new lockdown started. So that was tough.’ She started at gymnasium level and had a lot to deal with. ‘Corona or not, the lessons go on. The tests have to be done. My daughter experienced that as a lot of stress and pressure.’ It became clear she was not in the right place. ‘When home schooling started, she found it harder and harder to keep up. That is why we also did not know in the summer what was going on. Was it a getting used to process, home schooling, or could she not do it?’

Initiative

Ellen heard nothing from the school. ‘I was disappointed that I had to take the initiative for a meeting. My daughter only got very bad grades in French. Then you expect a teacher to contact her or us and ask what is going on. But that did not happen.’ So she started the dialogue herself. ‘There were constructive talks. Although it was within their rules, the teachers were willing to think along. The result was that the grades for those subjects improved quickly.’ Unfortunately, that was not true for all other subjects. ‘You see no change within that team of secondary school teachers. It is very hard if you want something different, I hear that from other parents too. It would help if they coordinated everything better.’

Switching

Fortunately, she did achieve something with the talks. ‘Actually, my daughter was not allowed to switch from gymnasium to atheneum during the school year, but we managed it anyway. She really has to trust that this is best. As parents we try to convince her, but it is sometimes quite hard. Without Latin and Greek, she has at least more space.’

Gradual

All in all, Ellen thinks the switch should be different. ‘I am in favor of more gradual change, because this is too abrupt. Children get the feeling that the level they start at is fixed. It feels like failure if it is not the right level. Also, switching classes is the worst thing there is for a teenager.’ She prefers broad first years. ‘Make sure children don’t always end up in the same groups. But that they are together with multiple levels. In such a broad transition school you will see where your child belongs.’