How to have a pleasant talk with the teacher.

How to have a pleasant talk with the teacher.

Good contact between parents and school is important for a child’s development. Still, many parents find a conversation with the teacher stressful. Maybe you want to discuss a concern, have questions about your child’s development, or do not fully agree with a decision from the school.

Think beforehand about what you want to discuss

Before the meeting, think about what you want to achieve. Do you have a question? Do you want to explain something? Or do you want to look for a solution together?

Write down a few points if needed. This way, you avoid forgetting something during the conversation.

Also indicate positive things

If the conversation is about a concern or problem, it can be nice to also mention what you appreciate. For example, that your child likes going to school or that you see how much attention the teacher gives to the class.

Listen to each other’s story

You know your child best. The teacher sees your child in a different environment: in the classroom, during cooperation, and in contact with peers.

By listening well to each other, a more complete picture often emerges. Try to be curious about each other’s experiences, even if you do not immediately agree.

Stick to the facts

It helps to be as concrete as possible. Tell what you see or hear and give examples.

Instead of: “My child never feels comfortable at school.”

You can say: “My child has said the past three weeks that he often plays alone during break.”

Concrete examples make it easier to look for a solution together.

Ask questions

You do not need to have all the answers during a conversation. Feel free to ask questions if something is unclear.

For example:

• How do you see this at school?
• What do you notice in the classroom?
• What possibilities are there?
• What can we do at home to support our child?

This way, you work together towards the same goal.

Make clear agreements

End the conversation with concrete agreements. Who does what? When do you meet again? And how do you stay in contact?

By clearly recording agreements, both you as a parent and the school know where you stand.

What if you do not agree?

It can happen that you see a situation differently than the school. That does not have to be a problem right away. First try to understand why the school makes a certain choice and calmly explain why you think differently.

If you cannot find a solution together, ask what next steps are possible. Often there is someone within the school who can help, like the internal support coordinator, care coordinator, or school leader.

Working together in the interest of your child

Parents and school share the same goal: a pleasant and safe school time for the child. By talking openly, asking questions and making agreements, a good collaboration usually arises. Even if you do not always agree.

If you and the school cannot find a solution together or have questions about the rights and duties of parents and school, contact our advice point. We are happy to think along with you.