What is gender identity?.

What is gender identity?.

Not every child naturally feels like a boy or a girl, or is comfortable in the body they were born with. Gender identity is more often a topic of conversation with your child. What exactly is the difference between sex and gender? And what does gender expression mean? And what else relates to gender identity? Read more and increase your knowledge.

Sex

Sex is the word used for the biological body traits you are born with. This is also called biological sex. Those body traits determine if your body is male or female.
Some people have body traits that are not clearly male or female. That is called an intersex body.

Gender and gender identity

Gender and your gender identity are about who you are and how you feel. If your sex matches how you feel, you are cisgender. For example, you may be born with a female body and also feel like a woman. It can also be that your gender, how you feel inside, is not the same as your sex. That is called transgender.

Transgender and non-binary

Are you transgender? Then your sex is not the same as your gender. There are both trans men and trans women. Also, there are people who are non-binary. Non-binary people do not feel fully male and not fully female. Or neither. During Purple Friday, much attention is paid to diversity at school.

The difference between gender and sexuality

Gender and sexuality are not the same. Gender is about how you feel and how you want to show yourself. Sexuality is about who you fall in love with and who you want romantic relationships with.

Gender expression

Gender expression is how you show yourself to the outside world. Think of choices you make in clothing, hair, behavior, body language, makeup, jewelry, and other outward traits. Gender expression is how you present yourself to others and how others see you. Your gender expression does not have to match your gender identity or gender. That is how you feel inside.

Talking with your child about gender identity

Sometimes your child asks a question about gender or sex or about a classmate who is related to this. That can be a good moment to start the conversation. You don’t need to use difficult words: just explain that some people feel more like boys, others more like girls, and that there are also children who do not easily identify with either.

Try especially to listen to what your child already knows or thinks. Maybe there was already a talk at school or a video watched. Ask open questions, such as: “What do you think about that?” or “How would you handle that?”

It also helps to make differences normal. Everyone is unique. In how someone looks, what someone likes, or how someone feels. Emphasize that it is important to show respect for each other and to address others as they prefer.

Do not worry: you don’t have to have answers to everything right away. You can look up information together or use a (children’s) book or video to start the conversation. This shows that it is completely okay to have questions and that you can explore them together.