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Expert Patricia Bolwerk: ‘How to deal with cyberbullying’.
From nasty messages under a social media post to threats via WhatsApp or forwarding images or videos: the digital world brings many risks. What can you as a parent do against cyberbullying? We talked about it with Stop Pesten Nu founder Patricia Bolwerk.
Recognising cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a problem especially among young people: they were born with mobile phones in their hands and know the internet inside out. Although you might think that online bullying happens mostly anonymously, that is not the case. Patricia, founder of Stop Pesten Nu says: “Bullies always want to see that their behaviour hurts victims and show bystanders how strong they supposedly are. Cyberbullying happens especially in online groups.”
But how do you know if your child is being bullied online? “It is often in non-verbal communication,” says Patricia. “Is your child much quieter, sensitive, more aggressive, or more withdrawn than usual? Then something may be wrong.”
Preventing cyberbullying
Do you want to protect your child from bullying? “For example, always watch your child’s online world. Especially until the first grade of secondary school. You can create your own profile to add your child and see what they share, post, and comment. And what others share, post, and comment of course. It can also help to agree with your child that you sometimes read WhatsApp chats. This way you can see how things go in a group chat and see what your child writes.” It may seem a lot, but this interest in the online world is important. “There are so many apps and platforms: learn about them and let your child explain what they do on them.”
The main thing is to lower the barrier for your child. “So they always dare to come to you. Make online behaviour easy to talk about from a young age, also game behaviour. Ask questions like: ‘Hey, how was your online day today?’ And if your child experiences something and asks for help? “Then ask how they would solve it if you were not there. This way, you teach your child to make wise online decisions themselves.”
Bullies always want to see that their behaviour hurts victims and show bystanders how strong they supposedly are. Cyberbullying happens especially in online groups.
My child is bullied online: what now?
The main tip: support your child in every way you can. Bullying is never anyone’s fault. “Ask what happened and how. Talk together about who you can report the behavior to and what you can do about it. Even if it is not your own child, but you know a classmate is bullied. Doing nothing is not an option: that means you agree with the bullying,” Patricia explains. Find more tips on the stoppestennu.nl website.
Also, the Kindertelefoon is a good tool for your child. If cyberbullying turns into threats, stalking, insults, discrimination, or slander, it can be illegal.
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