Stop bullying, tips for parents.

When your child is bullied it causes many emotions. As a parent you want nothing more than to protect your child and create a safe environment. What can you do if your child is bullied? How can you improve the situation? We tell you in this article.

Step plan to stop bullying

When you notice your child is bullied you want to act quickly so your child can go back to school in a pleasant way. You can follow these steps:

Talk with your child
Collect proof of bullying
Check the school’s policy
Talk at school
Help for your child

Talk with your child

Your child may find it hard to talk about bullying because it brings many emotions. Maybe your child feels ashamed or is scared of your reaction. So stay calm and listen well. Let your child talk, ask questions, and comfort your child. Tell your child it is never their fault to be bullied. Then together look for ways to solve the problem. Often children already think about this: take those ideas seriously and ask more. Discuss what your child can do to improve the situation. Who would your child ask for help? The teacher, the anti-bullying coordinator, or someone outside school? It is important your child feels heard and has someone to trust. Sometimes a child likes to contact someone else to talk about bullying, and that can also work.

Bullying: recognize the signs

Collect proof of bullying

Make a list with your child of what exactly happens. Who bullies your child and how? Is your child called names, hit or kicked, or excluded or bullied online? When does it happen? It is good to see what your child has already done to stop bullying and if a teacher, mentor, or other child is involved. Write everything down so you can look back easily.

Check the school’s policy

Every school must stop bullying. How they do this is in the safety policy. Many schools also have an anti-bullying protocol. It says who you can talk to in confidence and which steps the school takes if there are signs of bullying. This gives you a clear view of what you can expect from the school when dealing with bullying.

What must the school do against bullying?

Conversation at school

Every school must have a contact person for students and parents dealing with bullying. Contact this person and your child’s teacher or mentor. You can ask the mentor if they recognise the bullying problem. How do they see the situation and what behaviour do they see in your child? It is also important to talk about what must be done to solve the bullying situation. Think about agreements with your child and the bully or the rest of the class or using an anti-bullying program. Make agreements on what your child can do if they feel unsafe at school.
Tip: Ask for or make a report of the conversation, so you can calmly read the made agreements. It is also wise to make a follow-up appointment to see if the approach helps.

Conversation with the parents of the bully or bullies, smart or not?

Bullying is a hard topic to talk about because many emotions play a role. You can ask the school if the parents of the bully or bullies are open to a talk. If they are open, you may find a structural solution together that all children and parents agree on. Here it is also important to make clear agreements and regularly check the situation. Do not forget to involve the school too, so the bullying stops both at home and at school.

If the bullying does not stop

If bullying does not stop with the teacher and/or the contact person for bullying, you can contact the internal support coordinator or the director or head of department within the school. Schools also have a confidential counsellor you can contact. This person can work inside the school or independently. If that does not help enough, contact the school governing body or get help outside the school. All information and contact details you need are in the school guide.

Help! the bullying does not stop

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