Father Thijs: “I wanted to be involved from the start”.

Father Thijs: “I wanted to be involved from the start”.

Fathers play an important role in the upbringing and education of their children. Yet they are not always actively involved. Thijs, member of the Landelijk Ouderpanel and father of two children, tells how he consciously chooses an active role as a father. "I want to be just as important in upbringing as the mother."

Thijs is father of two children, and a son in special education and a daughter in regular primary education. He also works in education as a team leader at a primary school. That combination gives him a broad view of parent involvement and the role of fathers.  

Consciously involved from the start

For Thijs, it was clear even before his children were born that he wanted to play an active role in parenting. His own father was mainly the breadwinner, while the daily care was mainly with his mother. He wanted to break that pattern.  

“I wanted to be involved from the start. Not only in the fun things, but also in care, upbringing and setting boundaries,” he says. “I think it’s important that my children feel just as safe with me as with their mother.” 

That means, according to him, that being a father is more than playing together, sports or going on adventures. “You don’t only have to be the fun father. Sometimes you also have to be strict and clearly indicate the boundaries.” 

Involved at school

Thijs also tries to be involved at school. At home he regularly talks with his children about how things are going in class, their friendships and their development. With his daughter, for example, he discusses her report and offers to practice together if needed.  

He helps where possible at his children’s schools. Yet he notices that for many parents it is difficult to be present at activities during working hours. “Many parents nowadays both work. Then it is not always possible to help out on a random Tuesday.” 

More attention for fathers

According to Thijs, schools may address fathers more often directly. He thinks many fathers want to be involved but do not always feel invited. 

“Organize a meeting especially for fathers and ask how they view upbringing and education,” he says. “There are many fathers who feel one hundred percent involved with their children and school, but maybe also think: ‘What do I know about that?’.”  

Thijs also thinks there should be more attention for the importance of father involvement. “Many fathers may not realize how much difference it makes when they are equally involved in upbringing. Schools and other organizations could pay more attention to that.” 

Call to fathers

To other fathers, Thijs wants to say that their involvement is very valuable. According to him, there are many fathers who like to play an active role in parenting and at school, but who sometimes wonder what exactly they can contribute. “I think many fathers don’t realize how important they are.” 

Join in too

Are you also a father? And do you want to share your stories? Then sign up for the Landelijk Ouderpanel. With your input you help to get a better picture of what is happening among parents and where schools and policy can make a difference.