Skip Brinkman about purple friday: “A small gesture already is of great importance”.

Skip Brinkman about purple friday: “A small gesture already is of great importance”.

On October 9 it is Purple Friday, a day to show support for LGBTQIA+ youth by wearing purple. Physics teacher Skip Brinkman organizes the day at his high school in Amsterdam. He sees acceptance at school decreasing, but stands behind the importance of visible support.

Skip is a physics teacher in Amsterdam and active within the gender & sexuality alliance (gender & sexuality alliance) at his school. Four years ago he started as a teacher at the school, and in the same year a colleague founded the gender & sexuality alliance. “I already found the gender & sexuality alliance important on my own, so I wanted to contribute,” Skip says. 

“Showing off” and strange looks 

The motivation behind this is clear to him: acceptance at his school is decreasing, just like in other places in the Netherlands, and he wants to stand up for it. “I find it very important that students who dare not be themselves, can be themselves. That is what the gender & sexuality alliance stands for me: accepting all students.” 

The declining acceptance is especially noticeable when he raises the subject in class. “I see looks among students. You can see it brings up something in them, and that is often not something positive.” Skip thinks there is little behind this: “It is more a kind of showing off than something grounded. It seems taught.” 

A way to solve this lies with naming it and continuing the conversation: “I think it is very important that we just keep talking to each other and ask ourselves why you should not be yourself at all.” 

A safe place, but smaller than hoped 

At school, the gender & sexuality alliance is intended as a safe place. It is smaller than Skip hoped: about twelve of the thousand students are members. “That is not representative. Other schools are much bigger in this. I notice it remains small because there is still weird looks at doing it.” To counter this image, the gender & sexuality alliance tries to be a friendly group where everyone is welcome. 

What the students want, according to Skip, is simple: to be able to be themselves. Without people acting weird or bullying. Purple Friday is a day when that is allowed. “They would like to do it every day, but unfortunately that is not possible.” 

The value of a small gesture 

Some see Purple Friday as a day when you wear purple and do little else. Skip sees value precisely in that. “It subtly shows that you are there for everyone. Students who do not dare to be themselves and also do not dare to join the gender & sexuality alliance can still see that they are accepted. Even if they are not yet ready to come out for that, they know that acceptance can be carried within the school. A very small gesture is already of great importance.” 

The role of teachers is seen as important in this. Skip tells about one of his best friends, who as a student immediately felt supported when a teacher wore something purple. “Even if it was just a purple bracelet. Something small really made a big difference for him.” 

This year, too, Skip helps organize Purple Friday. A student who is in the gender & sexuality alliance with him wants to come to school in drag on Purple Friday. “I hope this will be a very proud moment, that he can be there as he wants to be and that it will be accepted.”

An invitation to parents 

Skip understands that Purple Friday raises questions for some parents, but emphasizes how accessible the day is. “The only thing we ask is that you wear purple, and you don’t even really have to say yes to that.” That others involved actually like to see someone in purple says a lot about what such a gesture can mean, according to him. 

Parents of queer children he mainly wants to tell how valuable it is if their child can be themselves. “If a child notices that they can be themselves and are supported in that, that is very valuable. Restrictions often stay in a person for a long time.” 

He also invites parents of non-queer students to start the conversation. “Make it discussable. It can help to further explore it as a parent and have conversations with people outside your own bubble who deal with this.” 

In the Netherlands, Purple Friday was first held in 2010, initiated by student Nazmul Zaman. He wanted to make sexual and gender diversity visible in a positive way at his school and show support for lgbtqi+ youth. Since then COC Netherlands organizes this day and develops the Purple Friday education package each year. At high schools and mbo, students and teachers organize Purple Friday themselves.