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Help for your bullied child.
Many children find it very hard to deal with bullying or unsafe situations. This is understandable, because these are often complex social processes. That is why it is important that your child gets help. Here you can read everything about the options.
Talk with your child
Bullying and other unsafe situations affect your child’s self-confidence. Talk and discuss what your child needs to feel stronger. Talk about what your child wants to learn and what your child wants to work on in these hard situations. Ask your child if he needs help with all the emotions that come with bullying.
Talk with other trusted people
Encourage your child to talk about it (also) with others. Especially as children grow older, your role as parent is smaller. That is why it might feel better for your child to talk with a friend, family member, or anonymously. Or maybe the doctor is someone your child trusts. That helps your child feel heard and supported. Ask your child if he knows someone to talk about the bullying problem. Help if needed to make the first (and next) contact. Your child can go to:
- De Kindertelefoon: This phone line is for all children and youths from 8 to 18 years who want to talk in confidence. Your child can call free at 0800-0432 or chat on the website.
- Pestweb: Your child can come here with questions or to meet other bullied children.
- Meldknop: Here your child can find information and help about cyberbullying.
- Chris: Through this website children between 12 and 18 years can chat, mail, and call anonymously for help and a listening ear.
- The doctor: This person can start extra care for your child if needed. This can be a referral to a social worker or resilience training.
- If your child feels hopeless and you have serious worries? Then get help from 113 suicide prevention.
As parents you are the safe haven for your child. If you do not know how to handle the situation yourself? You can always contact our advice point or call the Parent telephone.
Safe person at school
If your child feels unsafe at school it is good to look at who your child does trust. This way your child can go somewhere at school if he needs help. This can make your child feel safer at school. Think about a teacher your child likes, the mentor, school doctor or trusted person. Agree with the school that your child can go to this person, that talks stay private and when and where your child meets this person.
Help your child with confidence and resilience
Children who feel good have less chance to be bullied. Strong children set limits, ask for help faster, and have more confidence. You can help your child by talking regularly about feelings and listen well. Show compassion for your child’s story, so your child will come to you with problems. It also helps to give your child compliments and let your child think of solutions for problems. Give a good example yourself. Respect your child’s limits, show empathy and comfort your child. For some children, martial arts can be good to reduce fear.
Resilience training, should you or should you not do it?
A resilience training for a bullied child can cause resistance. Why should your child train, while other children misbehave? This is a fair question. Still your child can benefit from such training. Your child learns to deal with hard situations, set limits, ask for help and builds confidence. Not every situation and child needs or wants resilience training. You can discuss with your child if he needs it. Despite this training, the school still has the duty of care to take other steps against bullying.
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