Serious unsafe situation at school.

It thankfully does not happen often, but sometimes there is a serious situation at school. For example, threats, discrimination, sexual harassment, radicalization, drug use or violence. That is very hard. What can you do in unsafe situations? And where can you get help?

What can you do as a parent?

You worry about your child’s safety. That can cause a lot of stress. There are different things you can do to help your child and handle the situation:

1. Talk to your child
2. Collect evidence
3. Contact the school
4. Contact the confidant inspector
5. Help for your child
6. File a report
7. Extra actions for online safety

1. Talk to your child

Talking to your child sounds easier than it is. Your child is probably afraid to say what is wrong. They may feel ashamed or afraid the situation will get worse.

Our tips to make talking to your child easier:

• Listen well and ask more questions. Ask as many open questions as you can: questions starting with what, how, when.
• Stay calm and comfort your child.
• Tell your child that they are not to blame for the situation.
• Talk together about how to solve the problem. Children often already think about this themselves: take their ideas seriously and ask more about them.
• Make clear that you will take action, but you will decide together how to do this.

2. Collect evidence

Collecting evidence helps you see what is happening and helps with next steps. You can do the following:

• List with your child exactly what happens. Who bothers your child and how? When does it happen?
• See what your child already did to stop it.
• Write everything down so you can easily check it later.
• If it is online bullying, take screenshots. For example of messages on WhatsApp or Instagram.
• Record as many details as possible: like name, phone number, online username, email address and profile photo.

3. Contact the school

In many cases it is important the school knows about the situation so they can take suitable actions. Ask your child who they feel safe enough to talk to about the situation.

Your child can always talk to the confidant at school. There your child can share the situation in confidence. The confidant will look with your child which actions are needed and wanted. The school guide has information about the internal and external confidant.

4. Contact with the confidential inspector

Does your child feel unsafe to share the situation at school? Or is the situation very serious? Then you can contact the confidential inspector of the education inspectorate.

The confidential inspector handles sensitive issues and gives you, your child, and schools advice and information. The inspector thinks along and helps you decide what to do.

5. Help for your child

If your child feels unsafe, this can have big consequences. Your child can contact different organizations themselves. Often professional help is also recommended. You can talk with your doctor about what help to get for your child. Like trauma therapy.

6. Make a report

In cases of serious unsafe situations, it is often possible to report to the police. For example, if there is threat, violence, or sexual abuse.

Go with your child and bring evidence. Think of dates and times, photos of bruises, email and internet addresses, usernames and nicknames of those involved, saved chats, screenshots, photos, and videos.

7. Extra actions for online unsafe situations

Is your child also contacted online? Then you can do the following:

• Shield your child’s accounts.
• Block or deny the offender in your child’s accounts.
• Make a report about the offender to the platform manager.
• No matter how hard it is: do not reply to messages.