Put yourself in the parent’s shoes and put the child central.

Put yourself in the parent’s shoes and put the child central.

It sometimes happens that a conversation at school about tailored education mainly focuses on rules and protocols. 'There are parents who deliberately put a photo of their child on the table to remind those present what it was about,' says our director Lobke Vlaming in an interview with PO Magazine.

‘Parents often sit at the table with many other feelings than the professionals,’ says Vlaming. ‘As a parent, you feel your child is rejected. That your child is not good enough. Parents are simply scared, angry, and worried. Professionals often show too little understanding of that.’ Vlaming has important advice for teachers and internal support coordinators. ‘Put yourself in the parent’s shoes. Try to have empathy and support parents. That can help a lot to find a solution.’

Advice Point

She talks weekly with parents who desperately call the advice point. Often it is about tailored education. ‘Such parents are at the end of their rope. Things are not going well with their child at school and they cannot find a solution with the school. Often, the hard message is that no suitable education place can be found. When I say how bad I find that, they sometimes say: I am so glad you say that because I have not heard it in a long time. A little recognition that it is very hard is the least that can be done. It is very hard for parents if things do not go well with your child.’

Disadvantage

Vlaming stresses that parents are already at a disadvantage. ‘Often parents do not know about tailored education. They do not have the information and do not know what rules apply, what rights come with it, and what steps a school can take. Only when parents become aware of this do they start to look into it and research. That is often late, when too much has already happened and schools and parents sometimes already stand opposite each other.’ Conversations then become really difficult. ‘There is a lot of use of abbreviations like development perspective plans, declarations of admissibility, and partnership tailored education. Parents lose track at that point. Even highly educated, well-informed parents. Let alone if you just think: things are not going well with my child and we sit at the table to see what is possible. Then you suddenly have to sign something that turns out to be a declaration of admissibility. For the parent, it is sometimes not clear that the child must then go to another school (for special education). That is one of the biggest problems: parents who have an information disadvantage.’

Want to read more? Read the complete interview in PO Magazine February 2022.

Questions

For questions about, for example, tailored education, you can call our advice point at 088-6050101. Our staff are available on weekdays from 9:30 to 12:30 and from 13:00 to 16:00. You can also send an email via vraag@oudersenonderwijs.nl