Talking with school director or teacher. 5 practical tips.

Talking with school director or teacher. 5 practical tips.

You see as a parent that it can be better for your child at school, but it is hard to start the conversation about it with the teacher or the school director. What can you do to start the conversation in a way that helps everyone move forward? Below you will find five practical tips.

1. Don’t go alone

A conversation with the school can be confusing or emotional but also clarifying. Sometimes
you as a parent talk to several education professionals at the same time. Then it is good if you are not
alone. You will feel stronger, there are extra ears listening, and someone nearby who can keep some emotional distance from the conversation. You may always bring someone as a parent. That can be an expert like a speech therapist or physiotherapist, but also the neighbor, grandfather or grandmother.

2. Prepare yourself well

For important talks with the school it is wise to be well prepared. This way you will not be surprised and you are sure the conversation will be constructive. Think beforehand about what you want to say. Write down any questions and think about what you want to get from the talk. This can help the discussion go better and you can be sure you do not forget anything important. It is also good to write notes during the conversation. If you write down the agreements made, there is less chance of confusion later.

3. Give feedback based on facts

How do you give your feedback so that the school sees your involvement as support? You do this by giving feedback based on facts. Not by sharing your opinion on how things should change.
What do we mean by facts? You give feedback based on what you see happening and what effect this has on your child or on you as a parent. For example: ‘My son comes home and cannot explain what homework he has. Because of that, I am not sure how to help.’ After sharing a fact like this you can listen to the teacher. Give him or her the chance to do something with your feedback. See this video that explains how to give nice feedback to a teacher.

4. Keep it small and celebrate successes

When trying to make improvements, don’t try to change everything at once. The temptation is to take big steps: ‘everything must be different for my child’. But this can be scary. Instead focus on an easy improvement. How? Together with the teacher and your child, set a small goal. So not ‘we will improve Casper’s study attitude.’ That is too big. First take one part of that study attitude like ‘Casper finishes the math homework every Tuesday evening.’ Such a small intermediate goal helps to focus and gives fast results. Also try to name the successes and compliment the teacher and your child for that. What do you do when you have reached a goal? Celebrate success! Nothing is so motivating as stopping together to look at what you have achieved. Name the success and compliment the teacher and your child for that. Then you can continue with a new, small goal.

5. Involve other parents, together you are stronger

Is it a problem that not only your child experiences, but also other children? Then involve other parents to give feedback to the school together. You can do this with the school participation council or the parent council. You can do this by talking to the school leader or with the teachers.
A good way is to organize a ‘parent arena’. This is a conversation form in which one of the teachers talks with a group of parents in a circle, while the rest of the teacher team sits around and listens. Sounds strange? In a thousand Dutch schools teachers listen this way in student arenas to what their students have to say about education. This motivates the teachers a lot. It also works with parents. We know from experience that teachers appreciate it when you give respectful feedback in this conversation form. Read for example the story of De Kweekvijver.

This information is carefully put together by Ouders & Onderwijs in cooperation with Stichting leerKRACHT. We would like to hear if you found the tips useful and could apply them. Do you want to know more about this topic? Please contact us. Stichting leerKRACHT is also happy to talk with your school to improve education in a sustainable way. Talk with an expert coach if you want to explore the possibilities for this.