Group chats: the digital schoolyard. How do you deal with it?.

Group chats: the digital schoolyard. How do you deal with it?.

Quickly ask who is missing a gym bag, a reminder about a study day or a discussion about treats: group chats are now an inseparable part of school life. Chapter 2 of the state of the parent 2026 is about the pros and cons of group chats and how you as a parent can handle them.

Useful but also complicated

Group chats make contact between parents (and sometimes teachers) easy and accessible. Parents, children and school quickly connect and information is easily shared.

Chapter 2 in the state of the parent also shows that group chats are not always used as intended. What starts as practical communication sometimes turns into long discussions, unclear or contradictory information or messages that are not relevant for everyone. For some parents that works well, for others it is stressful.

Tip for parents: ask yourself if you need to respond to everything. Often just reading along is enough. You do not have to respond to every message. You can often turn off notifications in an app. That way you can read the messages back at a time that suits you.

Differences in expectations cause friction

Not everyone uses a group chat the same way. One person sees it as a practical tool, another as a place for extensive consultation or to express frustrations.

That difference in expectations can lead to irritation between group participants. This can involve:

• messages at inappropriate times
• discussions that get out of hand
• or unclear what is and isn’t ‘appropriate’

Tip for parents: keep messages short and clear. If you wonder if something is suitable for the group chat, ask yourself: is this relevant for everyone? Do not be afraid to kindly point out when you think a message is not appropriate for the group.

Group chats are not always easy for children either

For children, group chats are often the way to keep in touch with classmates. That can be nice but also difficult. Think of being excluded from a group where other classmates are included, peer pressure or (unpleasant) messages that keep going, even after school hours.

Contact with classmates no longer only takes place on the schoolyard. A phone, laptop or tablet is now a ‘digital schoolyard’ where contact between classmates continues.

Tip for parents: talk to your child about group chats. Ask open questions and give your child the chance to tell more themselves. That way you get insight into what is happening without immediately judging or controlling.