Denise: ‘During corona entire grade 3 was lost’.

Denise: ‘During corona entire grade 3 was lost’.

During the first corona lockdown many people stayed at home. So did Denise Thompson with her then 6-year-old daughter. "It was a new situation for everyone. At that moment a big gap started between what one teacher did and what another did. And many parents took this chance to raise their children to a higher level. Not every parent could do that. The result: delays and the children’s levels not matching."

Off the radar

The daughter of Denise never had complaints, flowed well, and enjoyed going to school. Until the first lockdown. ‘It was a situation no one was prepared for. There was a teacher who had no children herself. She briefly visited all her students’ homes to show she was still there. But our daughter had two teachers with children and a partner with a vulnerable job. They were forced to stay home and completely disappeared off the radar. She had no contact anymore with school and the rest of her class.’

The interests of a child

A small part of the school year had online lessons, but mostly group 3 was lost. And that year is very important for learning. ‘At some point we started gathering parents and made video chats with all children, but it takes time to set that up. Suddenly you have to think about the rights and interests of your own child. I even had the child protection board on the phone to ask if anyone was still watching out for the children’s interests.’

Second and third lockdown

‘This situation made me talk to the school and the teachers, asking where they were. I asked if they could please show some sign. I saw my own daughter drowning at home because her whole world fell away. Then the second and third lockdown came in group 4. That year they were more in class, but it was not a full school year so the delay could not be caught up.’

Unequal opportunities

As a parent you start feeling stressed because you want your child to keep up with the rest of the class. ‘I heard more and more parents around me helping their children to reach a higher level by setting higher standards at home. As a single parent I could not offer my daughter what families with two earning parents could. Suddenly both could no longer go to the office and had never been home this much with their children before.’

Pressure on children

‘My daughter is now in group 6, and you notice that some children lag behind and struggle. This makes those children feel huge pressure. It all rests on their shoulders because they must catch up and close the gap. That is really terrible. In the end children have to stay after class or get extra private lessons. The most painful? The teacher says only 3 of the 22 children in class do not need extra attention. That means the other 19 do.’

Waiting lists for help

‘This whole situation made me speak with a child psychologist during corona. My daughter had nightmares and woke up screaming at night. She simply felt very bad. We talk about a 6-year-old child, terrible. When I noticed my child, almost three years later, was under pressure again, I immediately thought: I will call that psychologist again because she helped us well. Guess what? Huge waiting lines, no chance. No space until the end of the year. There is unequal opportunity here too, because with a good double income you are not dependent on the municipality and the waiting lists and you buy the care you need yourself.’

Nothing wrong

When children come home with a good report card, parents may think quickly that nothing is wrong. And that pupils are doing well. ‘But it is mainly about: what do you want to measure? Because if you look at the report card figures, you might think things are going well and children keep up on their level. But if you look at the mental health figures, that raises many questions. The youngest pupils have the longest waiting lists at health care. That should ring a bell that something is wrong with our children.’

Sound the alarm

If you are in the same situation as Denise and you notice your child is under huge pressure? ‘My advice to other parents: keep sounding the alarm. Many parents may feel shame or fear their child will suffer if they go to the teacher or director again. But it is about your own child’s wellbeing. So do what you can and at least speak up, make it known.’

Denise keeps contact with the school and teachers. Many other parents do that too, as shown by our yearly research about what parents think of education. They say the teacher is the most important factor for quality of education in class and school. You read more about it in the Staat van de Ouder 2023.