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Help for your bullied child.
Many children find it very hard to deal with bullying or unsafe situations. This is understandable because these often involve complex social processes. That is why it is important that your child gets help. Here you read everything about the options.
Talk to your child
Bullying and other unsafe situations affect your child’s self-confidence. Talk to your child and discuss what your child needs to feel stronger. Talk about what your child wants to learn and what your child wants to work on in these difficult situations. Also ask your child if he needs help with all the emotions that come with bullying.
Talk to other trusted people
Encourage your child to talk about it (also) with others. Especially when children get older, your role as a parent gets smaller. That is why it can feel nicer for your child to talk to a friend, family member, or anonymously. Or maybe the family doctor is someone your child feels trust in. That helps your child to feel heard and supported. Ask your child if he knows someone with whom he wants to discuss the bullying problem. Help if needed to set up the first (and following) contact. Your child can ask for help from:
- De Kindertelefoon: This phone line is for all children and young people from 8 to 18 years who want to talk in confidence. Your child can call free with 0800-0432 or chat on the website.
- Pestweb: Your child can go here with questions or to connect with other bullied children.
- Meldknop: Your child can find information and help here about cyberbullying.
- Chris: Through this website children between 12 and 18 years can chat, email, and call anonymously for help and a listening ear.
- The family doctor: This person can arrange extra care for your child if needed. This can be a referral to a social worker or training for self-confidence.
- If your child feels hopeless and you have serious worries, then ask for help from 113 Suicide Prevention.
As parents you are the safe place for your child. If you do not know how to handle the situation, you can always contact our advice desk or the parent helpline.
Safe person at school
If your child feels unsafe at school it is good to see who your child does trust. That way your child can also get help at school if needed. This can add to the feeling of safety at school. Think about a teacher your child gets along with, the mentor, school doctor, or confidential counselor. Agree with the school that your child can contact this person, that talks are confidential, and where and when contact will happen.
Help your child with self-confidence and resilience
Children who feel good have less often to deal with bullying. Resilient children set their limits, ask faster for help, and have more self-confidence. You can help your child by talking regularly about feelings and listening well. Show sympathy for your child’s story, so that he finds it easier to come to you with problems. It also helps to give your child compliments regularly and let him think of solutions for problems he meets. Give the good example yourself. Respect your child’s limits, show empathy, and reassure your child. For some children martial arts is a good option to fight fear.
Self-confidence training: yes or no?
A self-confidence training for a bullied child can cause a lot of resistance. Why should your child be trained while other children misbehave? A fair question. Still your child can benefit from such training. Your child learns to deal with difficult situations, set limits, ask for help, and build self-confidence. Not in every situation and for every child such training is needed or wanted. Together with your child you can discuss if he needs it. Even with this training, the school still has the duty to do other actions against bullying.
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